I stupidly put a poll out on Instagram asking whether I should write my next blog on ‘My first tinder date’ or ‘The etiquette of sending nudes’ and you evil bastards voted for the latter, so here we are. Now its fair to say I’ve had my share of experience in sending and receiving naughty photos, I’m not denying that for one minute, so I guess that gives me enough exposure to be able to throw in my two cents about it.
Anyway, I’ve had a think about my experiences and I’d pulled together my resources to give you 5 top tips if you ever do feel obliged so send someone a picture of your nether regions.
*Disclaimer: This is entirely based off of my experience of guys; I know girls can be just as bad.
**Double disclaimer: I must ask you to bear in mind that these are not rules I have previously lived by, but moving forward I will be applying to my own online dating experience.
- Don’t do it – think about this long and hard (pun intended). If you send someone a digital image of you it is in their possession and they can view it and show it to whomever they like at any given moment. This doesn’t mean they are allowed to do that or it’s encouraged, but you need to think carefully about this…do you want the recipient to flaunt your goodies to all their pals? I know when I get an unsolicited nude the first thing I do is send it to my friends so we can have a giggle and question what the hell this person was thinking! You may think you look SMOKING hot and good for you, work bitch, but again, you can’t trust who else is seeing that shit.
- Is it solicited? – If you do decide ‘fuck this dumb slut, I’mma do it anyway’ then go for it. BUT is that photo a necessity? I know there are plenty of jokes on the internet about unsolicited dick pics, but it really happens. Like, a lot. Take the below as an example, we were chatting about our most recent dates, to which I get ‘you aren’t one for sharing nudes are you?’ I say ‘no, I’m good girl Charli’ and I get this…
Now, I’m no expert, but I’m 1,000% certain I didn’t ask for said image or even give an indication that I was even remotely interested. This isn’t the first time this has happened either. I have had private messages on Instagram which have ended up being pictures of guys ‘members’, I’ve had a chat about what I was going to cook for dinner to then be greeted with an explicit video…you know who you are. My point is, it wouldn’t kill you to at least pretend you want to get to know us rather than force your penis into our inboxes. It’s very threatening and not at all sexy; it’s like walking down the street and someone literally throwing a cock in your face.
- Repaying the favour – If someone sends you a picture do NOT feel obliged to send one back. It’s not tit for tat (again, pun intended), don’t honey trap someone into sending photos though ‘cause that’s not cool. If someone bothers you for one and you feel uncomfortable, just say ‘no’. Or, if you’re like me be a dick about it.
I make jokes, but it’s really easy to feel manipulated into sending a photo back, ‘oh, well I already have them on my phone and they have sent me one’. You have to stop thinking like that, I have found myself in that situation far too often and I recently had a very eye-opening experience which has made me re-evaluate everything I have ever done. Pressure isn’t cool, whether you’re a guy pestering a girl, or a girl being thirsty af for some D.
- Setting the boundaries – If you’re gonna spread eagle and send evidence of it then please be careful. You don’t want to end up on some porn site or to be recognised on the street because your images went viral (still an ongoing fear of mine). Realistically, a stranger doesn’t need to know what you look like in your glory and if you’re gonna sleep with them then make them wait. If someone asks you to do something you’re not comfortable with ‘stick your fist in your ass and show me’ then say NO, block that sadist if you have to, your life won’t miss that one weirdo who seemed cute but actually ended up being a reincarnation of Beelzebub himself. It’s not gonna make them like you any more, in fact, it’ll make them think they can disrespect you even more.
- Asking for compliments – AHHHHHHH, there is nothing worse than being sent a photo (whether you want it or not) and being asked what you think. Isn’t it enough that we had to endure looking at the photo in the first place, now you want us to study it and give our critiques? I’m a total bitch and will happily knock a cocky guy down a peg or two by picking out things in their surroundings i.e. ‘I think it’s unnecessary for you to have 2 toothpastes open at one time.’ If a person asks you what you think then they only sent it for the gratification and you don’t have to give it to them.
So there are my ‘top tips’ from personal experiences – with receipts! At the end of the day (hopefully) you’re an adult and can make decisions for yourself. It can seem so exciting and liberating to send a photo and receive all sorts of complementary and explicit messages back…but is that what you really want? Some creeps from the internet leering at the most precious thing – no, not your genitals, you in your most natural and vulnerable form. We are all better than this and the internet has made it a huge joke to ‘send nudes’ I’m guilty of it myself. Stop disrespecting yourselves for people that have no intention of getting to know you. That’s my piece on the matter, so let’s wrap this post up with me putting the rules into practice…
He was immediately blocked after this, BOY BYE.